The Build-up to the Letdown (based on John Betjeman’s famous poem)

Come, friendly bombs, and fall on Howe,
on Tebbitt, Hurd: they’re past it now.
They’d wheel out Thatcher (Holy Cow!)
were she not dead!
Come, votes, and blow to smithereens
the Coalition (not the Greens).
Make UKIP’s zombie mob has-beens.
And what of Ed?

“This mess was left by Gordon Brown,”
says Gove, the miserable clown,
“And we have brought deficit down
in just 5 years.”
There goes that man with double chin
(and only Pickles’ mind is thin).
It’s others who apply the spin
brings us to tears.

Then there’s that Paddy Ashdown bloke
hears exit polls and makes a joke.
“I’ll eat my hat!” which he’ll revoke
when tolls the knell.
Now unemployment’s dropped a tad,
though Zero Hours will drive them mad.
Do they think eating’s just a fad?
Go roast in Hell.

“It’s tough to juggle lots of dough,
rent an address in Monaco
to keep one’s income taxes low
or white be bled.”
whilst low paid workers bear the scars
and serve the drinks in “caffs” and bars
But back to Huw’s and Andrew Marr’s
long night ahead.

Predictions come, predictions scare.
though Sunderland, first to declare,
sees Labour up, Lib Dems despair
and chew their nails.
Come, friendly bombs, no need to “Pow!”.
Ed, Nick and Nige have all said, “Ciao”
The Tories rule the roost somehow
and greed prevails.

Now a PS: the SNP
swept Labour into misery.
Perhaps Scotland’s the place for me?
So northward ho?
Tuition’s free and NHS
‘s protected from that Osbourne jess.
Their monster’s confined to Loch Ness.
5 years to go!

© Phil Poyser, Macclesfield, 14th. May, 2015


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